Welcome to my home, dear ones. there’s hot coffee, tea. Or if you’re into something cold, there’s milk, water, and tea, as well. there are cookies in the bucket on the coffee table, and sticky buns hot from the oven. Have a seat and chat a spell. It’s been a rough week here in America… a week when the very core of our nation has been tested. So, I share the pledge of allegiance that we may remember what our country represents, and who we truly are. We are NOT hatred. We are NOT disrespectful of our national monuments, and hallowed halls. WE ARE A PEOPLE UNITED UNDER GOD!
Shewww… with that out of the way. I’d really rather much speak about the awesome week that did happen despite the unrest. I’ve been fighting some pretty deep depression this week, trying to doggy paddle amid the rough seas. It hasn’t been easy, and I’ve tried all the things that usually pull me out of the gulch and set me back on the road. I have to say that mid-week I went from deep depression/grief to abject fear. I haven’t felt so much fear since the awful tragedy of 9-11. Back then, I spent much time on my knees or on my face in prayer…so, I’ve been there much of the week.
I’ve also lost myself in sewing… if you’re interested, see my quiliting post ( https://jellicoswritingnook.home.blog/2021/01/07/vintage-thursday/ ) from Thursday. In regards to that, I made a adventurous journey out to the antique mart in search of vintage linens. It was great to do something “normal” again. As I walked through the booths, I felt myself start to relax and feel a little peace. Something about the old things, the “smell” of age, maybe. Anyway, two hours later, I emerged feeling much better. … That was wednesday, before I found out what was happening in our Capitol. I came home excited to start cleaning and deciding which piece would go where, turned on the news… and it sat in the bag lost to reality.
On Thursday, I felt the effects of the CPTSD coming on, no doubt triggered by Wednesday’s events. I was so jumpy that any little sound sent me through the roof. I felt the high anxiety washing over me time and time again. It was all I could do to force myself to do something to hold it at bay. I called my Buddy. She, too, was having a time of it. We decided to meet for brunch and do something together…didn’t matter what as long as it did not involve hearing or seeing anything related to the news. So, of course, we decided to do something crafty. So, of course, we decided to hit the crafty stores for inspiration…note: probably not the best thing to do when you’re hyper sensitive to any sound or movement of people. Nope, not a good idea at all.
We only lasted a few minutes at each place before we were clinging to each other’s arms and forcing ourselves not the duck and dive. Still, we pushed through, made some small purchases and then returned to the haven of home and set down to craft. I had purchased a discounted happy planner notebook, and some larger metal rings to replace the tiny plastic ones. I already have the paper punch, so I can add pages of my own design along the way. She got one, also. Our plan, to make pages of our own as we journey through this year. So, that’s what we did. Something we can share with each other and inspire one another to get through these times. And, if we don’t like the page, we can rip it out without sound. Today, I will actually punch the holes and add my created pages to the notebook. I wouldn’t have had to buy more than the rings, but I liked the cover (and have no idea where my one from two years ago is.).
I need a refill on my coffee, here. Another thing I’ve been doing is drinking more coffee this week. I feel calmer for it. I’ve had two cups a day. Those of you who have known me for a few years may/may not remember back when I was drinking 10-15 POTS of coffee a day. It’s taken me years to break my brain’s addiction to caffeine, and most of the time I do succeed. I’m making an allowance for this week as it is helping me to get back to sanity. So, in the morn, I’ve had my regular cup of instant cappuccino, and I’ve added an afternoon cup of instant Folgers. I only bought one box…when it’s empty, I’ll go back to one cup. Ach, I even sound like an addict trying to justify falling off the wagon, don’t I. Sigh… it is what it is.
I almost didn’t get to posting this week… that’s how upsot my routine has been…
Friday, I went jungueing and got another huge haul for less than $10… at least a $100 or more worth of fabric remnants, too! I was thrilled. I love the little Open Door Thrift store for this… I go in there every once in a while, just for the fabric scrap bags. This week, they were even on sale for $0.99… usually $2.99-$3.99… a good deal. There’s even one piece, red with a design like little bandanas all over it, that is about 4-5 yards…enough for a simple skirt and maybe accents for a blouse to match. There was also a very old linen onesie type outfit for an infant boy, and a set of matching doilies, tucked within the scraps and remnants. Wow! What a nice treasure… I’ll have pics for this Thursdays – Vintage Linen post along with ones of the haul. The cloth has filled a kitchen size garbage bag… I will have it laundered tomorrow and ironing will be a main task this week, I’m sure.
So, at the moment, I’m doing much better… still feeling the grief that seems to be ever-present in these days, but still moving. My buddy and I are checking in with each other frequently, and muddling through with many prayers. This week – Wednesday – is Sheila’s memorial service, and Friday is our other’s neighbor’s services. So, keep the prayers coming, and I will keep the prayers floating upwards. I hope everyone has a GREAT week ahead. Remember to tell your loved ones how you feel about them in love. I continue my plea for you to wear your masks, wash your hands, and to blow your nose frequently, too. Stay as healthy as you can, and do what you need to do for your mental/emotional health, too.
Most of all, remember that God is IN CHARGE! There is nothing that can happen or not happen on this earth that HE is not in control of. Look for the blessings, no matter how small. Hugs and prayers from us to you. Shalom, Bear
If you’d like to join us for a cup of coffee and conversation, please, do so. You can find us at: Weekend Coffee Share – Natalie The Explorer.